Say "Cheese"

There is a painful ritual our family endures year after year. The ritual opens with a long and arduous hunt that begins just as the summer days are waning and chilly evenings require a sweater, and ends sometime in late autumn with a bright flash of light. Everyone in the family participates, there is no way to avoid it, everyone dreads it, everyone breaths of sigh of relief when it has been completed, and everyone knows that no matter how challenging it is, it WILL be repeated in a year’s time. Some call this ritual “The Taking of the Family Christmas Photo”; we call it “The Ultimate Torture”.

As mentioned, the ritual begins with a long, arduous hunt through catalogs, online sites, and shopping malls for just the right matching outfits for the youngest members of the family. For many years this meant matching dresses for our three daughters; however, now there are four little granddaughters to be outfitted. Until the perfect dresses and accessories can be found, bagged, and delivered to their respective owners, the older family members are in the dark as to the appropriate attire for the big day. Only once the hunt has come to a successful conclusion, does the matter of color coordination begin as grammie, papa, moms, dads, aunts and uncles find clothing to compliment the little princesses, who are after all the center of the universe. It is always good when their royal dresses are plaid, allowing for multiple matching hues.

Once the matter of attire has been settled there is, perhaps, an even more difficult challenge: finding a date for the “big shoot”. This is the time when Bob and I begin to wonder how in the world we have gone from the two of us to a family of twelve! Because I am “queen” of the ritual, it is up to me to send out the first email regarding the checking of calendars. Out it goes and so begins the haggling, there are church activities, football games, school programs, work schedules, band lessons, birthday parties, and the list goes on. One day, it finally happens . . . a mutually agreed upon date is found and this is cause for great celebration, maybe the playing of the “Hallelujah Chorus” accompanied by a large glass of wine. At this point it is game on, and the count down to the most intense moments of the year begins!

Keep in mind this is the picture that will grace my Christmas card, this is the picture that will hang on refrigerators across America and the world, and these are the faces that will smile at our friends until the ritual is repeated. The final moments are intense, as the house begins to fill with the four families that comprise our clan. Sons-in-law nod at one another, exchange a knowing look, and steel themselves for the inevitable. Daughters busy themselves with makeup, hair, clothes, cameras, and scouting out the perfect setting. Tension mounts, the lights are in place, Bob and I take our seats in the middle of the frame. This is when the true character of our family comes out. THIS is when all CHAOS breaks out.

Fitting twelve people into a picture—four of them children—is not a small task. Add to that making sure everyone is smiling, facing the camera, and actually LOOKING at the camera and you have the impossible task! Thankfully Bob and Ellie are fantastic photographers, thankfully everyone is willing to make it work, and thankfully Ellie is a photoshop wizard!!!!!!! Seriously, she can remove an arm and place it on another picture if necessary, and zits, runny noses and crazy eyeballs are no problem either. So, the flash goes off maybe forty times and we pray for just one good picture. That’s it! It’s over for another year. Done! I count, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, 11, 12! Everyone has survived yet again. The smell of victory is in the air and the promise of nine calm months before we are called to hunt and “shoot” once more. Our yearly ritual, bringing new meaning to those infamous words: “Say Cheese!”

Hope you enjoy a couple of the "outtakes" from this year and last year along with our final product at the top of the page.