Tiny Benedicitions

“May The Lord bless you and keep you.

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.”

Numbers 6:24-26

Sunday mornings as the worship service at our church comes to a close; our pastor raises his hands and gives a benediction. I love that moment, I feel that blessing sending me on my way for the week, and I feel the Lord’s love in my life! I think of the goodbyes in my life as tiny benedictions. I think they are important moments, and not to be morbid, possibly final moments. My husband kisses me goodbye each morning before he leaves for work (whether I’m awake or not) and I always left our children with a kiss, hug and reminder they were loved, a tradition now extended to my grandchildren. Following 9/11, I wondered how many people who had lost loved ones wished they had parted differently that morning. Conveying love is important and there are big and little ways to create love memories and moments that matter.

Since our dating years Bob and I have used a little system for conveying our love to each other, it’s three dots (or squeezes of the hand) followed by a space (or pause) and another dot (sqeeze) followed by an asterisk (long squeeze). Almost always our written messages conclude with … .* which means, “I love you the most” Likewise, we’ve squeezed that message to each other in a roomful of noisy people and in the quiet of the sanctuary, while waiting tensely in hospital waiting rooms, or while delightedly watching a grandchild’s baptism, we’ve honked it on car horns, flashed it with our headlights, and tapped it on counter tops. Lots of folks use this type of system between them and it’s been a great way to keep conveying our love consistently for 38 years. I recently found out our daughter uses it with her girls, telling them “I love you” with three squeezes of their little hands. We’ve created a tradition of love and it’s made a lot of moments matter.

I like love moments that are surprising! Sometimes my husband wakes up to find a lipstick love message written on the bathroom mirror (an easy cleanup with a little glass cleaner) complete with a kiss mark. Notes left on the pillow or in the car, a card in the mail, or the unexpected arrivals of flowers are nice love surprises. Many love surprises take very little time or effort but really make the moment matter for both the giver and receiver.

Just a final thought, since I believe goodbyes are tiny benedictions, I like to send my guests off feeling like I was glad they had come, I was sorry the time was over, with love and a blessing. My children, grandchildren, extended family and friends can count on seeing me standing in the doorway waving (usually with the universal sign language for “love” topping the wave). It’s a fast tradition with me and those I love, I have actually received calls from my daughter’s cell phone on the odd occasion when I was not at the door waving when her family left, a call telling me they are recircling the street so my granddaughters can get their Grammie wave. Likewise, I always look toward the home I am leaving, just to see if the feeling is mutual, someone there smiling and waving. Sometimes the door is closed and I feel like my host is happy to be able to move on to other endeavors, but sometimes I turn and my host is still there smiling and waving, and I feel like they are saying, “I’m glad you came, go in love and peace”. Memories of my grandmother standing on her porch waving as we drove away toward home from our yearly visit with her remain in my heart. More recently, grandchildren running the length of their yard waving and blowing kisses, or my daughter and her husband with their baby in their arms waving as we drive away fill my mind. Those are sweet moments and the drive home is always a little better for it.

Goodbyes are definitely moments that matter. Every day love moments are too, what are some of your love traditions, what are some of the ways you make consistent love moments and memories with the special people in your life? New ideas welcome. . .oh and bless you dear ones, sending you on from here today with lots of love!