Let it Snow!

Every once in a while something happens that reminds me that I’m REALLY not in control. Sometimes it’s a big event, like getting cancer. Other times, it’s something tiny, like searching frantically for something I’ve lost and suddenly finding it right under my nose. Often the memory jog is something very ordinary, like unexpectedly running into just the right person at just the right time. And then there are days like today, when it’s something out of the ordinary, like snow in October. I checked it’s not really ordinary to have snow in October in the Washington, D.C. area; as a matter of fact it hasn’t happen for 32 years, not since 1979.

I know I’m not REALLY in control, because I would never have allowed it to snow today. For one thing, many months have gone into planning the Fall Festival at our church. It’s a big, happy, wonderful, festival that fills our church parking lot. There’s music, face painting, a moon bounce, free lunch, lots of game booths and candy. Best of all we meet people from our church neighborhood who don’t attend our services. We get to know them and they get to know us. But the Lord had a different plan today; the Fall Festival had to all be moved into our fellowship hall. It was still a big, happy, wonderful festival, but it meant a lot of rearranging, alternate planning and no moon bounce.

Driving in snow today certainly wasn’t on my agenda! I don’t have winter tires on my car, Bob and I had to play car shuffle so I could have the vehicle that “likes” slippery roads. Getting new tires for winter was supposed to happen BEFORE the first snowfall, oops! God had a different time table.

Snow would not have been in my plans today because the fall palette has just started peaking here. I was looking forward to enjoying another week or two of red, orange, yellow, pink and gold splashed across the wooded areas around our house. I thought I would spend some time outdoors today enjoying this beautiful fall canvas. But the Master Artist closed the exhibit. I haven’t spent any time outdoors today, except to run from my car into various destinations trying to stay warm and dry.

Washington D.C is a very important city full of very important people, people who run the country and influence the world. People who think they are in control, but like me, they REALLY aren’t. I’ve seen three feet of snow shut this city down for several days. I think the One who controls the elements likes to remind us every once in while (believer and non-believer) who’s in control.

It’s good I’m not REALLY in control. Without snow today my church family wouldn’t have had the opportunity to grow and learn through a challenge. I’m proud of them; they did a terrific job rolling with the Lord’s change of plans. If big white fluffy flakes hadn’t fallen today we might have put off getting new tires until an even bigger winter event blew in. God’s unexpected snowy display was a good reminder to get moving on a time sensitive project. If leaf padded pathways and colorful bowers had beckoned me outdoors I wouldn’t have spent a lovely afternoon with my husband and daughter exploring fine food and beverage at a new to us restaurant.

I don’t know what profound plans God alters when He plans an out of the ordinary event. Probably the big wigs in Washington aren’t even aware of His intervention from time to time. I do know that if my warm house, cozy fire and desire to stay put on a snowy night had not prevailed I would have missed the best part of my day. A surprise visit from our youngest grand daughter and her mommy and daddy tonight wouldn’t have happened. The visit was brief, but kissing that sleepy cheek, inhaling her sweet baby perfume, and holding her close for those few minutes made me glad I wasn’t in control. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

My View From the Sidelines

I’ve been a mother for 32 years. Sometimes that’s hard to believe. Other times I can’t remember ever not being a mother. I’m blessed to have three very remarkable daughters, women now. I am also blessed to have four very remarkable granddaughters, my “little” girls. These little lives are a reflection of their mothers and living reminders of the joys and challenges of my years as a young mother. I watch my daughters mothering their girls. I look to see if I can catch my reflection in them as they attend to the needs of their children.

Sometimes I do see myself as they care for their “babies”. It delights me when I see myself in them, as they smile with pride at a daughter’s new accomplishment, lovingly teach and correct one testing the boundaries, or when they are filling backpacks with books and tummies with breakfast before school. Those are joyful reflections.

There are, however, times when I see a different reflection. Those times when, thinking no one is looking, concern and uncertainty cross their faces as they watch one of their sweet little ones at play. The moments when their mother’s intuition is fully awakened and they know their daughter needs their help to cross some new hurdle. I remember those intuitive moments, truly moments that matter, and I want to both take the burden from them and leave them to bear it themselves. On the one hand, having experience in leaping hurdles with them in years past gives me an edge. But on the other hand, it is now their turn, with God's help, to see their little ones safely to the other side, and I’m not as spry as I used to be.

NOT leaping doesn’t keep me from offering advice on HOW to leap. I’m blessed, most of the time my sideline coaching is welcome and they recognize experience does count for something. Sometimes they decide to try a different approach while I hover and pace and watch, praying they bring their little ones over and through unscathed. When they come through with flying colors I’m delighted and reminded there is more than one way to skin a cat (or clear a hurdle). When their different approach sometimes fails and following the well-worn path of experience would have been less painful, they are reminded, that at least sometimes, mother still knows best.

Sitting on the sidelines doesn’t come easily for me, but I think I’m starting to get comfortable off the field. I still pace and fret and shout instructions. I still jump up and down and enjoy cheering my daughters on through these years of young motherhood. I still love celebrating the victories, big and small. However, more importantly, when the challenges seem impossible and victory seems a long way off, I want them to know, in the end, if they will just keep running alongside those precious daughters, it will be okay. Just like they did, the next generation will all make it across the finish line in fine form.

God willing, I’ll be there when my daughters and granddaughters link arms for their victory laps; joyful reflections indeed.

Meeting Martha Washington

Yesterday I posed with Martha Washington! She looked fantastic despite her years. We chatted and connected; the decades and history that separated our lives notwithstanding. Woman to woman we talked. It was just a brief conversation, but enough that I realized that down through the centuries woman are moment makers, memory makers, bound in a timeless sisterhood.

She showed the group I was touring with how to pour tea, how the women of “her” day did it. I still like to brew a slow cup and share it with a friend. I’m not sure I do it as gracefully as Mrs. Washington, but still the moments shared over a cuppa are just as special as in the days of old. A lot of wonderful news and advice is given and taken during tea times with friends--was then and is now.

As I stood looking at her, elegant and a little whimsical in her puffy colonial head cover, I realized she must think about and worry about many of the same things I do. Certainly, she was thrust daily into the whirling, changing, tension-filled stream of politics. Did George come home and bang his fist on the table during dinner as he made point after point regarding the governing of this newly formed nation? Did Martha’s responses help to shape the United States as we now know it? Goodness knows we have had a few fist pounding dinners regarding current events and the running of modern day America in our home. What about family? Certainly there were concerns about the children’s health and education; such concerns are still foremost in my heart in regard to my children and grandchildren. I imagine we even share some of the same challenges as overseers of our own businesses, the Washington’s with their plantation and farming, Bob and I with our roofing business. Yes, politics, family, health, education, business, and finances, not a lot has changed really.

Happily, during the tour we were reminded that joyful occasions also punctuated the colonial days. Martha threw and attended balls and birthday celebrations. There were intimate dinners with friends and family, and more formal and elaborate state dinners. Like many women, Martha was a memory maker, someone who made moments matter for those around her, no doubt. I would dare say many memories were made on the Mount Vernon grounds. I loved the slow genteel dancing we enjoyed learning in the ball room yesterday at Gadsby’s Tavern. It made me think of good times, fun times, friend times I’ve enjoyed hosting over the years, and I found another common bond with this great lady.

Finally, the family Bibles and personal Bibles displayed throughout the homes we toured reminded me that most likely, Martha and I shared a similar faith. There was a great calm about Mrs. Washington, she had a peaceful countenance. I know my faith has brought me through many storms calmly and peacefully. So we shared yet another link.

I am thankful for yesterday’s encounter with Martha Washington. I was reminded of the important role women have in making moments and memories that matter. It made me hopeful, that if history is any indicator, my daughters and granddaughters will be moment and memory makers long after I’ve poured my last cup of tea.

The Making of Maid Marian

Some of the best moments of my life have come right out of the blue. Tonight I had some of those out of the blue moments that mattered with my oldest daughter. She popped into the room, and like all my girls have done over the years, asked if I would help her with a last minute project. Tomorrow is the Maryland Renaissance Festival, an amazing event. There will be Ladies in Waiting and Knights in chain mail, the King and Queen will preside, food will abound and much merriment. Oh and don’t forget jousting, the Maryland state sport! For more info on the Festival, which runs August through October, you can check out their website http://www.rennfest.com/ .

Well, I can tell you we had a lot of fun turning an old high school formal (which my mother had started sewing for me but never finished) into an amazing Maid Marian costume for Jean. Using some ribbon and pearls we made a head piece to match the dress, laced the sides of the dress with ribbon, and added some pearls and voile! Jean will be the best Maid Marian at the festival.

Although I loved seeing the end result, the most fun was the hour and half with Jean figuring out and putting together the idea and the costume. Fun to see how the creative juices flow and bounce between us when we are teaming up on a project, very energizing. There is definitely something to be said for letting one's creative side have its way. I recommend it!

There was one intense moment! I sliced up my finger while cutting lacing holes in the dress. It wasn’t really intense for me, but I did think that we might lose Jean onto the floor, she doesn’t do very well with blood! Maybe she should skip the jousting exhibition tomorrow, eh?

Here’s to ye good friends! Hoping you’ll be making merry with your loved ones this weekend!

When the Boxing Gloves Go On!

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, Eph. 4:26

Most of the time things are pretty calm and congenial around our house. Currently there are four adults living in our home and we cohabitate very well. We’ve always had a lot of guests through our house: friends, missionaries, family, friends of friends and some others. You could say the house is fairly busy and full a lot of the time. The two constants over the years are me and my husband, Bob. Yup, for 38 years it’s been Bob and Bobbie, three of those years dating and 35 as a married couple. Like I said, most of the time, things are pretty calm and congenial around our house.

There are, however, times when things are not so calm and peaceful. When you share your life with the same person for almost 40 years there are bound to be some conflicts. As I’ve always said, if a couple never argues, or disagrees, then chances are one or the other is always giving way. I think some of the most important moments in life occur during conflict AND during resolution. I know that how Bob and I act and react during conflicts has changed over the years. We certainly recognize the “danger” signs earlier when one or the other of us is unhappy, or about to open dialogue on an issue that has been boiling on the back burning. I’d like to think that we’ve learned a few things about conflict and conflict resolution during our years together. We still have our disagreements, but now that we’re older, we duke it out a little more fairly than we once did, enter into conflicts less often and with less anger, and walk away feeling better, faster than in years past.

Because I’m not an expert on conflict resolution, I won’t try to advise in that area; however, I have learned some interesting things while in the midst of conflict and during the subsequent resolutions. First and foremost—conflict isn’t bad! I know it’s not comfortable, enjoyable, or desirable, but when it’s all said and done, conflict can lead to some really positive outcomes. Some very important moments that matter result from conflict. I have found conflict to be cleansing when I’ve spent time holding in displeasure, disappointment, or even anger. I have found conflict to be revealing when I take the time to listen and hear the heart and hurt of another. I have found conflict to be a catalyst for self-discovery when I see how I act and react when the “boxing gloves” are on. Something that cleanses, brings revelation, and helps one learn more about who they are can’t be all bad. My personality is not one that naturally shies away from conflict. Like most people, however, I’d much rather not engage in it, but because of its redeeming values I’m not afraid of it. The bottom line is, conflict happens, so I have found it better to embrace it!

Of course the best part of conflict, in my opinion, is resolution. Again, I’m not an expert in this area, but I love some of the things I’ve found to be true once the battle is over. I love the moment when the issue is talked out and someone (or both someones) reaches out, sees the light, seeks forgiveness, and the weight of conflict is lifted. Sometimes this happens in a few minutes, other times the conflict is marked by several cooling off periods and a more lengthy dueling time ensues. But regardless, once the smoke has cleared there is a sweet time of drawing back together, tending to one another’s wounds and moving forward. Not often, but occasionally, resolution means agreeing to disagree—not always as sweet, but learning to compromise, to forgive sacrificially (like the Lord forgives us), and moving on are important life lessons.

When our children were younger and still in the nest, Bob and I decided that at least sometimes, it was okay to disagree, or even argue (fairly and with control) and bring a conflict to resolution in front of them. There were a couple of reasons we came to this conclusion. First of all, we wanted the girls to know that conflict, when handled right, is not to be feared. We wanted them to see that even adults make mistakes and need to seek and grant forgiveness from and to one another. Knowing the shock and dismay some of our married friends—who had NEVER seen their parents argue—experienced the first time a major conflict occurred with their partners, made us want to prepare our own children for the inevitable. Some of these couples thought conflict meant they had somehow failed and were not meant to travel on together. Most of all, we wanted our daughters to know that even though we didn’t always agree, and sometimes argued, we still loved each other. I think we met our goals during those years.

The world we live in is marked by conflict, discord, and hurt. On a smaller scale, every life is likewise marked and affected. I know I have a responsibility to use and pass on healthy conflict resolution tactics to my children and grandchildren. I want them to fight fairly, to be thoughtful with their words and actions in the midst of their conflicts, to learn compromise, and to be quick to ask for and to grant forgiveness. Those are hard lessons. I’m STILL learning how to consistently fight fairly. But one thing I do know: conflict happens, so I’m sure to get plenty of practice in the years ahead.

Hoping your battles are few and your outcomes are cleansing, revealing, and enlightening. Until next time, off to enjoy my calm and congenial home . . .

Those little blessings!

Yesterday I was writing cards to a few friends who are facing some difficult challenges in their lives. In the middle of a sentence, I looked at the scrawl on the page, the words I had written, and felt like my effort was incredibly insignificant. How could the words I had penned make any difference in the battles these dear ones faced? It was just a card, a message written in a few minutes, the promise of prayer and love sent from me, a small reminder that someone else knows how hard it is to press on day after day. But then, I remembered the cards that had bolstered ME day after day, arriving for months as I walked through my own valley a few years back. I loved it when my husband or daughters would bring the mail in each day and a sunny yellow or a bright pink or blue envelope would be peeking out of the pile of bills and discount offers. Those cards really DID make a difference daily and, to me, were not insignificant. I taped them to the cabinets in the kitchen and when I needed a boost I looked up at the sea of colors and inspiring words, felt the love, and pushed through another day.

Sometimes the smallest things really make the biggest difference. And people, who quietly do small things with the same love and care that they do the big things, really are the unsung heroes in a sometimes not so wonderful world. I am a people watcher. The faces and personalities around me keep me happily entertained when I find myself sitting in a crowded waiting room or standing in line at the grocery store. I especially love to people watch when the person I’m focused on isn’t aware of my attention. What people do when they don’t think people are looking says a LOT about them. I admire the person who stoops to pick up someone else’s litter and put it in the trash can, the one who allows the mom with the crying baby to step ahead of them in line, or the driver who yields patiently to a car waiting to enter the traffic lane. Those people won’t get recognized for their kindness in any big way, but they do make the world better for those around them.

Taking little blessings for granted is easy for me to do, especially with my family. My husband calling mid-morning just to check in and see how my day is going, a fresh brewed cup of coffee delivered with a smile by my daughter, the trash taken out without me asking or the dishwasher unloaded, quarters left on the table for the parking meter when I’m heading into the city, a picture of one of my grandchildren unexpectedly texted to me, and so many more little “gifts”. I never want to overlook these little blessings because they represent such great love! They say “I’m thinking of you”, “I hope you have a great day”, and they challenge me to be faithful in the small things, the things others might not see or notice.

My friends should soon receive the cards that I finished writing, addressed and mailed yesterday. Hoping those small bits of paper will make a big difference if even for few minutes, because as Mother Teresa said so well, “We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love”. Here’s to the small blessings, hoping your life is full of them.

Finding Quiet

Two days ago the lights in our house flickered several times during a severe thunderstorm. I held my breath and hoped we wouldn’t lose power. During the brief interludes when the power was down, I realized how very quiet it was. It wasn’t the first time I’d experienced this quiet in the midst of a storm. Several times the silence has awakened me when the power has gone out in the middle of the night. It’s not the storm that wakes me; it’s the overwhelming silence after the storm, in a powerless house, that jars me from sleep. It is when these outages occur that I am reminded of the constant hum I live in. The continuous whirl of the electronic devices, the refrigerator, the computer, the lights and dishwasher, the fan blowing the air, day and night there is a constant hum. So, it is startling when I find myself in a place that is silent; startling and wonderful.

The older I get the more I appreciate quiet moments. As much as I love the noisy, crazy, zany fun when my grandchildren visit, I also love the quiet following their departure. I wouldn’t give up a moment hearing them laugh, call to me, or chatter happily while playing. Admittedly, I already miss them while we’re still waving goodbye, but I have grown to appreciate the quiet that enfolds me as I turn back inside the house as they drive away.

I think I’ve needed more quiet moments in my life for a long time. I wish I had sought them and learned to appreciate them earlier, but, I’m glad that my life has more of these peaceful interludes now. By nature I’m not a quiet person. I’m a talker, laugher, music maker, whistling mama! Much of the noise I live with is noise that comes from ME. When God said, “Be still and know that I am God,” I think that He must have been speaking directly to me and all the other noise makers in this world. Despite my noisy personality, good things happen when I’m quiet. I feel calmer, I think more clearly, and life in general seems much less harried.

Quiet moments ARE moments that matter. Quiet moments refresh me and revive me. Quiet moments remind me of who I am and Who created me. It is good to have moments that matter, refresh, revive and remind. Because these things are good, I find it very important to be deliberate in my pursuit of silent moments. I have to make quiet times happen. The world at large is a noisy, bustling, busy, place and I find it hard not to bustle right along with it.

Today I found myself in the woods by a beautiful pond. I wasn’t expecting a quiet moment. I was with my husband on a lovely, fun-filled outing. But for a few minutes, with my back against a tree, watching him some distance away photographing some of the autumn scenery, it was beautifully silent; startling and wonderful.

Hoping you find some quiet moments that matter today! Enjoy some of my pictures from today:

Lava Cake and Surprise Drinks = Fun!

This evening a little entry about making fun, fun, fun moments. I LOVE to laugh and to have a few fun tricks up my sleeves when my grandkids or my guests come over. Usually something quick and easy (you know by now that "quick and easy" is my middle name). I find a lot of wonderful projects on pinterest, which is a great "ideas" site that I highly recommend. Other ideas I have picked up from friends and relatives over the years. I rarely reinvent the wheel, with so many creative people out there it's easy to just borrow and enjoy.

There are so many serious events taking place all around each day, so I find it very important to enjoy a fun moment whenever and with whomever I can. I think it's healthy . . . and well . . . fun. This entry is actually more of tutorial for two fun projects, a lava cake (pampered chef inspired) and fun and colorful surprise drinks (via pinterest). Hoping I can get the pics up here and lead you through both projects! Have fun!!!!!

First the fun colored drinks. Start with paper cups or glasses and food coloring.

Using different colors in each cup, drop one drop of food coloring into the cup and let dry!

Take some ice (I used crushed) and cover the dried drops so the kids don't see them.

Use a clear sparkly drink like gingerale, or sprite or 7 up

And pour over the ice, making sure the kids see what's happening when you pour

They will love seeing what color each other are getting and you'll love their faces!

And now you are a magician . . . at least to that little audience!

On to the lava cake, the kids love this one and so do adults.

I like to get everything out and ready ahead of time, this is a really QUICK fun dessert.

Ready to go! Notice the size platter I'm using, big enough for the "lava" to spread.

Also, the platter has a fairly good size lip, tall enough to contain the "lava".

Just mix the cake as per directions on the box, you can use any flavor of cake.

I always use milk instead of water in my cakes, I was taught that years ago in my cake course.

Mix it up!

Make sure you have a microwave safe container with a secure (can be tightened on) top.

Pour your batter into the container, I use a Pampered Chef rice cooker.

Open and put a whole can of frosting in the batter! You can use any flavor, I've done lemon cake with lemon icing and here I'm doing chocolate with chocolate, experiment!

Just dump it right in the middle, don't mix it in, just plop it in and leave it.

Put the lid on and fasten it down.

Pop it into the microwave on high power for . .

9 and 1/2 minutes

Remove it from the microwave carefully since it's hot now.

Take the top off! And there's the cake!

Take the platter

and place it over the cake which is still in the container. . . and is HOT!

Invert the container and plate carefully and then get ready for the fun !!!!

Lift the container off of the cake, it will slide out easily, I use oven mitts to hold the container during this step as the sides of the container will be HOT!

Voila! Yummy hot chocolate cake with warm chocolate sauce!

A little whipped cream . . .

Have the plates and ice cream ready to go so you can enjoy the warm cake with the cold ice cream!

Slice it up and top with the sauce!

Make sure you have some good cold milk ready too!!!!

UMMMMMMMMMMMMM! Yum!

Let's have a taste . . .

Perfect!

I hope you have fun trying these with some of your favorite little people (and big people) and let me know what flavor cake and icing you try!!!! Bon Appetite!